Eco-engaged: More couples find the outdoors a nurturing environment for romance

Published January 10, 2011 in the Commercial Appeal

Romance has gone green -- at least among active, environmentally conscious couples.

Austin Grisham and Lindsay Morris had their first date on the Shelby Farms Greenline.

Although they both grew up in Memphis, they got to know each other about a year and a half ago over the phone. Morris was living in Portland, Ore., working as a teacher in an after-school community outreach program, and mutual friends suggested Grisham contact her, since he was considering a move to the area for graduate school.

"A month after I moved to Portland, a random guy contacted me about graduate school and Portland in general," Morris said. "We continued talking, and when I came home to Memphis for Christmas in 2010, we decided to meet," says Morris.

Grisham and Morris are both active cyclists and runners, and Grisham knew that Morris and her family often walked on the Greenline, so it seemed like a good place for a first date.

About a year later, it seemed like an even better place to propose.

"I started planning the engagement in August," says Grisham, who lives in Portland and is a recruitment specialist for an interpretation company.

Grisham had talked to Morris's dad and arranged for the whole family to take a walk over the Thanksgiving holiday break.

Grisham had secretly flown into town the night before the walk was to happen. Morris and her family were to walk east along the Greenline and Grisham would walk west.

Morris and her family walked for about 15-20 minutes, "then my dad stopped me and said, 'This is it.' " She looked up and saw

Grisham running toward her. He got down on his knee and proposed.

Their wedding will be at Hope Presbyterian Church, where Morris's dad is a minister, but they hope to have the rehearsal dinner at Shelby Farms Park.

Jen Andrews, the director of communications for Shelby Farms Park Conservancy says, "One of our taglines is 'Love the Park,' and we're happy to see people are taking it literally!"

The conservancy has seen an uptick in both inquiries about park weddings and people having their weddings and receptions there.

"We've gone from hosting a few a year to 18 weddings in 2011," says Andrews.

In addition to more weddings and receptions than ever, the conservancy is hearing more and more from people getting engaged at the park -- and now on the Greenline.

"Last year, a couple got engaged at our Off-Leash Dog Park. We had several people pop the question at Starry Nights. Marriage is a big deal, and we think more park and Greenline users than ever are interested in making this commitment at a place that's meaningful to them, surrounded by natural beauty," she says.

One of the ways the conservancy is able to earn money for the operations and maintenance needs is through facility rentals (indoor board rooms, outdoor picnic shelters, races and walks). "We've been working hard to increase facility rentals across the board, and they're very popular. We keep our prices fair and scale them according to the size of the event and number of guests, and we think people like knowing that the money they're going to spend to have their wedding goes back to help the park and Greenline they love," says Andrews.

The park conservancy hopes to continue its relationship with these couples forever. Andrews says, "We want to host the baby shower, bar mitzvah and 50th wedding anniversary."

Other scenic venues are also becoming more popular for weddings. Pat Vescovo, director of sales at the Memphis Botanic Garden, says, "We've shown an increase over the past couple of years in garden weddings, especially due to new areas we've added that are designed to create special backdrops for the ceremonies. Our Blecken Pavilion and Japanese Garden are two of the most popular spots for weddings."

Bobbie Baker, the special events coordinator at Lichterman Nature Center, says she has noticed an increase in the number of outdoor weddings as well.

"With the advent of social media websites like Facebook and smartphones, brides as well as their guests may share their wedding photos instantaneously. Today's brides are looking for something new, nontraditional and 'photo-worthy.' "

Baker believes outdoor weddings in a setting as lovely as Lichterman offer photo opportunities that no indoor structure may provide no matter how grand the architecture, and adds, "With a growing 'green' social consciousness amongst those under 30, couples are using their wedding ceremonies as a way to establish their commitment to the environment as they begin their lives together."

River Romance

Published January 1, 2012 in the Commercial Appeal

Today, Nola and Tom McKnight celebrate 70 years of marriage.

And it all traces back to an encounter on the Mississippi River.

In the summer of 1940, Nola came to Memphis from her home in Dyersburg to look for a job. She stayed with a well-known Realtor, and her son, Spence Baker.

Baker thought Nola should meet his friend Tom McKnight, so one Saturday afternoon he told her that they should go out on the Mississippi River and wait for Tom.

Nola thought it was a terrible idea, as she was in her high heels, gloves and hat. But she finally agreed, so they went out in Baker's runabout into the middle of the Mississippi River.

A short while later Tom showed up in a Chris Craft runabout that Buddy McKnight, Tom's brother, kept at the Memphis Yacht Club, which was very active at the time. The two were introduced, but neither one was much impressed.

"We really just held on to each other's boats," recalls Nola.

"Spence was known for his women," explains Tom. "I didn't think much about it. I thought it was just another one of his girls."

For two weeks, Baker kept after Tom to ask Nola out, so to shut him up, Tom called Nola for a date. She accepted, and on their first date Tom showed up on his Harley Davidson motorcycle -- and they went back down to the river. "We anchored on a sandbar, climbed up it and courted, as they say," says Nola.

A full moon, the Harley, and the river created a memorable first date, so much so that they dated constantly after that night. "That did it. That sealed it. Everything just worked for us," says Nola.

Less than a month before the wedding, however, Pearl Harbor was attacked. Since Tom had received an Army second lieutenant's commission from Davidson College, they knew he would be called to active duty. But that did not deter them, and they went on with the preparations.

They were married at Central Christian Church on Jan. 1, 1942. And Tom went on to serve in the military for four years.

Nola credits their long marriage to the fact that they enjoy doing the same things and enjoy doing them together. Although both in their 90s, they stay very active. "Tom and I do whatever comes up that we want to do. It could be one thing one day, and another the next," says Nola.

Tom says they take one day at a time, and just love each other. "She's the greatest gal that ever was," says Tom. "If you get a good one you might as well keep her."

Both say they have had a wonderful life, blessed from the very beginning. They have two sons, three grandsons and four great-grandchildren.

To celebrate their big day, Tom and Nola are hosting an open house from 3 to 5 p.m. today, which is the same time as their wedding. Tom says they are expecting 30-40 people, mostly from the neighborhood and Sunday school. "We both have a few things we're going to say," hints Nola. "We'll sip champagne and have a nice afternoon," adds Tom.

As for their matchmaker, Spence Baker, Tom says he was married three times. "We always joke that he did much better with us than he did with himself," says Tom.

One language: Global couple keep home base in Memphis, focus on shared values

Published October 6, 2011 in the Commercial Appeal

Matt Farr, 28, a Memphis native, took his Colombian wife, Marcela Pinilla, 29, on her first-ever canoe trip along the Eleven Point River in Missouri shortly after the couple moved to Memphis in 2009. The first day was great.

The second day: "It was a little colder than I expected for April -- 35 degrees -- and foggy. Within the first hour on the river, a gust of wind blew us into a strainer in the middle of the river," explains Farr. The couple hit the downed tree head-on, turned sideways and capsized, the current pulling them both underwater.

By the time they got back to shore, they were exhausted and soaking wet. As Farr started a fire, Pinilla turned to him and said, "Thank you. I have never felt so alive."

"That's why I love her so much," says Farr. "I knew everything was going to be fine after that."

The couple met in a Chinese language class in Qingdao, China, in 2006. Farr was teaching helicopter pilots English, and Pinilla was singing in a rock band.

"I realized quickly that it was not what I wanted to do for a living, but it got me overseas, opened up other opportunities, and taught me many things" Farr says.

Pinilla started touring abroad when she was 16, and met some musicians in Malaysia. They eventually asked her to join their band in Singapore. She spent eight years touring Asia with the band, singing in English, Spanish and Chinese. She was in China only a few months when she met Farr.

They then chased each other around Asia for a while -- Farr to the Philippines, and Pinilla to Shanghai. Marcela then joined Farr in the Philippines, and flew out weekly to play gigs in Singapore. They visited each other as much as

possible and soon decided they wanted to be together permanently.

Pinilla really liked living in Singapore because it was a big, international community with a lot of opportunities. Farr says he couldn't live without her so he followed her there. One night while having a drink at a Cuban bar, they decided to get married. "I gave her a cigar band as an engagement ring," Farr says.

They married in 2007 and stayed in Singapore until the economy collapsed. "My international clients dried up, and Marcela needed to be closer to her family as her father had recently fallen ill," he says. They moved to Memphis to be nearer to their families and to regroup.

Initially they lived with Farr's mom in Cordova, with no car. It was the middle of the recession, and Matt spent the first few months pedaling around town on his bicycle looking for jobs. "We sat down four months into our Memphis experiment and asked ourselves, 'What are we doing?'" The couple wasn't sure that they could stick it out. "It boiled down to Memphis having opportunities for greatness not just for individuals but for the city in general. We decided that we wanted to be a part of something great -- something bigger than ourselves. That's what kept us here," says Farr.

Once they decided to stay, Farr says everything started falling into place. He got a job as the manager of education and outreach at Shelby Farms Park Conservancy. It has given him the tools to effect change in the community. He also leads outings for the Sierra Club-Chickasaw Group. He regularly takes groups to the Cumberland Plateau, and hosts an annual Memorial Day Float down the Ghost River.

Pinilla has been able to support herself as a full-time musician. She manages her own career by booking shows, updating her website, writing songs, recording and touring. Additionally, she works part-time on staff with the Memphis Music Foundation, with a focus on reaching out to aspiring Latino musicians. "We have a lot to offer, and we can learn a lot from each other because of the differences between our countries and our cultures," she says.

"I like it here. It is very real, not perfect, but real," says Pinilla. She really wants to show people another side of Latinos. "I do that with my music," she says, noting that many people don't always associate jazz with Latinos.

Pinilla says it is difficult being a musician in Memphis. "It's weird how hard it is to get people to come to a show. People don't realize what an asset they have here. My friends from out of town are blown away by Memphis and can't understand why isn't it bursting with people," she says.

The couple rent a home in the East Buntyn area, but they plan to buy a house after saving some money. Pinilla says she will probably spend a month or two in Colombia each year since it is very difficult for her family to visit her in the States. "Memphis will always be our home base. There are entirely too many things going on here," says Farr.

They have a small house with no TV. Instead, they like to go out to shows or have people come over and play music.

Pinilla says Memphis and Bogota are both cities where people like to party. "In both places people have their set of issues that everyone lives with and then parties on in spite of," she says. "Finding positivity in all of those situations is the name of the game."

Positivity is one of the things that drew her to Farr. "He's very positive. He keeps me filled with love," she says. "Matt knows the city better than I do, so he helps me maneuver. He also has better writing skills, so he checks my lyrics, too."

In January, Pinilla made a New Year's resolution for them to be healthier. "I started waking up and making spinach smoothies to try and get Matt off of coffee. It really put our relationship to the test," she jokes.

They recognize their cultural differences and say they complement each other. "Americans are typically more individualistic, while Latin Americans have stronger family structures and a sense of togetherness," explains Farr. "Oftentimes, I get focused on my own thing and go without relying on my support structure. Marcela makes sure we have Saturday morning pancakes with my grandmother and Sunday dinner with my mother at least once a month."

He also says that because they met and lived overseas together, in a way they have created their own culture. "We have shared values and see the same big picture," he says. "Our interests in life complement each other and enable us to work together and press on together."

The couple even share their own language. "We have really weird linguistic practices and use three to four languages with each other. It really confuses our friends," says Farr.

Farr says Pinilla is very spiritual and creative. He's more business oriented and practical.

"He does his thing, and I do mine. We are there for each other, but we also let the other one be," explains Pinilla. She was worried that marriage would cause her to lose some of her freedom, but she likes Farr's support. "I definitely recommend marriage," she says.

Making it work

Our occasional series Making it Work focuses on interesting Mid-South couples and how they make being a twosome work. Know a duo you think we should profile? E-mail winburne@commercial appeal.com.

Performance

Marcela Pinilla will perform at the Zoomelier fundraiser at the Memphis Zoo on Oct. 14, and at Festival Latino 2011 at Shelby Farms Park on Oct. 16.

Go to marcelapinilla.com for more information.

Pat Mitchell and Billie Worley blend different styles into family harmony

Published April 7, 2011 in the Commercial Appeal

When Pat Mitchell, 40, first met her future husband, Billie Worley, 39, she was bearing a platter of homemade ribs. Proving that the quickest way to the heart is through the stomach, Billie fell in love with her immediately.

Pat is the director of development and communications at the Memphis Music Foundation, and Billie is associate producer for 1049 Productions and an actor and musician. They met in the summer of 2003, when Billie was touring with an old friend of Pat's from the band Candlebox. They had a gig in Little Rock, and Pat knew that the best thing you could do for a band on the road without a tour bus was to make food. "There I was with an Afro and a plate of ribs," says Pat. Billie laughs and says, "I was like, 'Who is this little angel?'" (Read more)

Majestic match: Irishman, Jersey native play complementary parts in marriage, business

Majestic match: Irishman, Jersey native play complementary parts in marriage, business
Published November 4, 2010 in the Commercial Appeal

The blues brought together Deni and Patrick Reilly, owners of The Majestic Grille in Downtown.

Deni, 36, who is originally from New Jersey, moved to Memphis in 1997 and planned to stay for two or three years. Patrick, 46, who is from just outside Dublin, Ireland, and has been in Memphis nearly 10 years, jokes he came here just for the weekend.

They met when Deni was working for the Blues Foundation and Patrick was running the Gibson Guitar Lounge. They worked on several projects together and interacted a lot because of work.

They dated on and off for awhile, and not surprisingly, most of their dates were music related. "We saw Robert Cray at the Botanic Garden, Rufus Thomas at the Music and Heritage Festival, and we had third-row seats at Aerosmith," Patrick recalls.

"We were both pretty much consumed with music," Deni adds...(Read more)

Naomi Van Tol and Larry Smith united by and for environmental activism

Naomi Van Tol and Larry Smith united by and for environmental activism
Published June 6, 2010 in the Commercial Appeal

"Our idea of a good time is wading around in a swamp," says local environmental activist Naomi Van Tol, 34.

She met her husband, Larry J. Smith, 53, in 1994. He had recently graduated from law school at the University of Memphis and was working for her father, who was director of the Mid-South Peace and Justice Center. "I was the boss' daughter," jokes Van Tol, who was 18 at the time and working on her bachelor's degree in English at Christian Brothers University.

He says it was love at first sight. She says it was "serious like" at first sight. Before they started dating, they worked together to mark the canoe trail on the Ghost River section of the upper Wolf River. "I needed a field partner, and I knew that Naomi would be better than another bearded, smelly guy like me," says Smith. They had an instant connection...(Read more)

Arkansas couple living their dream down on the farm

Arkansas couple living their dream down on the farm
Published April 22, 2010 in the Commercial Appeal

Jill and Keith Forrester of Arkansas' Whitton Farms are probably the most well-known farmers in town. They're known for their amazing flowers, fresh produce, easy smiles and charming ways. However, farmers market regulars might be surprised to learn that this charismatic couple's relationship started with a lie.

They first met in a "terrible" bar in Jonesboro in February 1999. Jill was tired of guys asking "if they could be her Jack," so when Keith inquired about her name, she told him it was Sarah. She didn't stop the fibbing there. She went on to explain that she was from Hawaii and that she worked in a local record store...(Read more).

Making it work: Family practice

Making it work: Family practice
Published March 25, 2010 in the Commercial Appeal

The idea of living and working together might not appeal to many couples, but David and Susan Weber have been successfully doing it for seven years. They operate Housecall Family Medicine out of their Midtown home, which they say is the the only full-time business in Memphis that specializes in physician house calls.

The Webers met in Mississippi in 1995 on a blind date arranged by a mutual friend who worked as a lactation consultant in the same physician's office with David. Susan had babysat for her daughter a few times...(Read more).

Couple credits making each other laugh with helping their relationship to flourish

Couple credits making each other laugh with helping their relationship to flourish
Published September 1, 2009 in the Commercial Appeal

A lawyer and an aesthetician with six piercings walk into a bar...

What sounds like the beginning of a joke is actually the beginning of comedians Joe and Christiana Leibovich's relationship. They met at a comedy show (local improv group, Vertical Imbalance) at Kudzu's in 1999...(Read more).